tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823549861851853736.post2257004395686602381..comments2023-08-05T07:19:13.900-07:00Comments on Missing Maxie: DoneAbby Levisshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15748394086960661826noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823549861851853736.post-40004971640888419162012-01-15T02:41:03.397-08:002012-01-15T02:41:03.397-08:00I really am scared to ask this, but I see a lot of...I really am scared to ask this, but I see a lot of what you're saying people shouldn't do, but what/how should people act? I don't know how to be sensitive and know when to ask my grieving friend questions, and share my own thoughts and memories about the thing she is grieving and when I should just leave her alone. I don't know if giving her space is what she wants or if she feels I'm abandoning her.Katenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823549861851853736.post-32741570256547373882012-01-12T21:56:29.630-08:002012-01-12T21:56:29.630-08:00But, yes, Jenny....that is exactly what I would ha...But, yes, Jenny....that is exactly what I would have wanted.maxiesmommynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823549861851853736.post-16253910482295120252012-01-12T21:33:50.940-08:002012-01-12T21:33:50.940-08:00Thanks Jenny. The truth is that I think everyone i...Thanks Jenny. The truth is that I think everyone is doing the best that they can. I have exhausted myself hopin that people will understand. I think it is just too hard and the sooner I can let go of caring, the sooner I can start to heal that part of me.maxiesmommynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823549861851853736.post-12336296816329829062012-01-12T21:17:25.887-08:002012-01-12T21:17:25.887-08:00Abby I wish your friends would realize that what y...Abby I wish your friends would realize that what you need of them is a seat on your couch, slippers, a big box of tissues and stories of Max. Not to forget but to acknowledge and remember. Not to move on but sit and heal or at least callous. It's scary to think at a time like this when you should be leaning on people my best advice is to avoid them at all cost. I hope you find your comfort and strength in Ted. I don't know how much more blunt you can be with everyone else. As always all good thoughts and peace to you and yours.Jennyro22noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823549861851853736.post-27710755713736041182012-01-12T19:24:52.624-08:002012-01-12T19:24:52.624-08:00For awhile I went through a period where I wanted ...For awhile I went through a period where I wanted people to talk about Toby to me and I wanted them to miss him as much as I did. Then, I went through a period where I was almost angry when they said things like they missed him and loved him. Most only met him once, if they met him at all. The only people in his life that got to "know" him were me, my husband, my mom, and her best friend. Nobody else took the effort. So to hear them say that they missed him just pissed me off. Now, I don't care. I realize that eventually people move on and have their own lives and worries. It makes me sad and angry still at times but I'm to the point now where I'm at least okay with it. He's ours and nobody else's and I don't really want to share him. <br /><br />I realize, of course, that our situations are totally different. Not only was Max older when he died but you guys had friends and family members around that got to meet him and see him. In our life, nobody cared. We were the hospital room without flowers when he was born. I thought things would be different when Iris was born after what happened with Toby but they weren't. <br /><br />I really wanted people to care and share my pain or at least sympathize with me but at the end of the day it was just me and my husband. After awhile, that mostly became okay. I rely on him more than anyone and I'm tired of spending energy on anyone else. Mostly, I'm just tired.rebecca Patrick-Howardnoreply@blogger.com