tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823549861851853736.post6407269968123720839..comments2023-08-05T07:19:13.900-07:00Comments on Missing Maxie: TransformationAbby Levisshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15748394086960661826noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823549861851853736.post-8468111251358457312011-12-22T16:54:17.958-08:002011-12-22T16:54:17.958-08:00Since losing Luke, I have become a different perso...Since losing Luke, I have become a different person and I feel as well it will take years to really know this “new me”, maybe a lifetime. I loved my life with Luke in it, I had “everything” that I always wanted. My life was not perfect, but it was perfect for me. I knew this and did not take it for granted. It will never be like that again, I will always be missing my little boy…missing a part of me. It is hard to accept there is no cure and there never will be. I have said many times I feel losing my child has given a new appreciation for how deep love goes and appreciation of my life. It has made me feel to a depth I don’t think you can really feel until you have felt the depth of pain losing a child creates. This is something I appreciate (not that I wouldn’t trade it for a second with my Luke). Our babies are a part of us and part of our purpose. I remember last Christmas my great aunt had told me that time will help me. It had only been 1 month since Luke had died, I could hardly imagine…but 1 year and 1 month later it has helped. Time gives you a chance to figure out this new life and all the wonderful things in it. Time to find ways to honor the child we have to live physically without. You and your husband have already done so much to honor Max and he knows it.Katie (LukeGrantsMom)noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823549861851853736.post-1263615484660021792011-12-22T14:58:25.989-08:002011-12-22T14:58:25.989-08:00I agree with Steven that words alone can never com...I agree with Steven that words alone can never comfort the pain that comes with intense complex heartbreaking grief. <br /><br />But please know that Maxie and you and Ted are loved, truly loved by your friends and family. We are here when you need us, in whatever place along your journey you find yourselves. There is no need to autocorrect yourself or fake it. Be yourself and keep feeling your feelings without judgement - your core is strong and beautiful and you have always been an amazing friend. Whatever the journey of transformation is and wherever it takes you, you are not alone, you are accepted in whatever state you are in and you are loved.Anna Hyneknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823549861851853736.post-26386067095565939262011-12-22T12:09:39.869-08:002011-12-22T12:09:39.869-08:00The new normal will never truly arrive. There is n...The new normal will never truly arrive. There is no "ah ha!" moment. It is an evolutionary process in which the new normal will constantly change and your pain and grief will become more manageable. They will never go away...you will just develop better coping skills and find ways to honor and cherish your grief for Maxie. I know that cherish sounds a bit odd, but since your grief is one of the physical things that remains of Maxie, you will cherish that it is a part of you as a way to hold onto your bond with him.<br /><br />I wish I had something "profound" or even comforting to tell you. Sadly words can never describe the pain and quite frankly, all people ever do in trying to come up with words is to stumble over them. So, in that vein, I will only say that I am terribly sorry that you and Ted have to walk this path now. My heart goes out to you both.<br /><br />StevenSteven Stuart (Colin's Daddy)noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823549861851853736.post-3548028945704859192011-12-21T16:52:17.770-08:002011-12-21T16:52:17.770-08:00My favorite quote of all times, "fuck it to t...My favorite quote of all times, "fuck it to the critics." You feel how you need or want to feel. No one else has to live your life, your an amazing woman.Kim Nisbetnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-823549861851853736.post-11684700761051245392011-12-21T16:04:44.529-08:002011-12-21T16:04:44.529-08:00,"this new life was just handed to us, in bro...,"this new life was just handed to us, in broken pieces, with no instructions, and just the understanding that we have to make sense of the whole thing. This is a burden. Everything is a burden - having to be sensitive to others who don't know what to say is a burden. Having to keep myself from jumping down the throat of someone who says or does something hurtful is a burden (especially when you keep doing it over and over again).<br />I can't believe how beautifully succinctly you put the crap that this all is. Our losses are different, very, very different- but I understand. My own mother doesn't understand how I feel... What did I do? What could I have done differently? Why me? I try to do good things? and then to add to it the innocence of a baby... I haven't responded in a while, but I am still thinking of you and still wishing this hadn't happened at all.Melissa Rossinoreply@blogger.com