Memories

At times it feels like life started for me on July 19th, 2011.  And, in some ways, it did.  There have been many, many pivotal times that came before that date - but none that so fully changed the entire makeup of my being like that one day and all of the days that have come since.  The memories of my life before that date often feel like the memories of a stranger - as if I'd read them in a book or seen them in a movie.  I know that they exist, but I have a hard time reconciling the truth of the fact that they actually belong to me.  I know that on the surface, there is so little difference between the old me and the new me but the fact is that every little piece of me has been permanently altered.  And so oddly, only the memories that have existed over the past 3 and a half years feel like they are really mine.  They are the only memories I "own".  I have spent countless hours of my time trying to analyze what this is all about and why this is how I feel, but I don't come up with much that makes sense.  Only that that other person, the one I was, is someone I hardly know now and so her memories are just that - hers.  To me they are like stories told by an old friend - and what is most troubling about it for me is that Max's chapter belongs to her (and not me). 

Mo's favorite things

Mo's teachers had all of the kids tell them all about themselves. The answers to the questions they asked were posted on the walls of the classroom as a surprise for the parents who visited the school last night for Back to School night. This was just too awesome not to share:

Mo's First Week of Preschool

This week was monumental at our house - but I mostly think that every time Mo passes a new milestone it is monumental.  Maybe that is just how all parents feel (I think they do).  Maybe it also has to do with him passing milestones that I remember dreaming about for Max, that he never got to (I think it is that too).  Mo started preschool this week.  He went every day until 1 pm.  It is the school we planned on sending Max to. It's connected to the synagogue where we spent high holidays. We did two and a half sessions of Mommy and Me there last year and Mo loves the children and the teachers.  I have known that he has been ready for preschool for some time now but we had to wait for an opening.  He LOVES being around other kids and he needed more stimulating play than he was getting here.  I am so happy for him.  SO SO happy that he is here - at this new place in life, such a happy and good boy.

I often say he saved my life.  He saved Ted's too.  We marvel at how much happiness he has brought us and when I say we were in a dark place before he came along - I am not saying we were disappointed, or depressed, or sad.  I am saying that we literally didn't know how we were going to get through the next day.  It was that bad.  Mo's spirit has lit up our lives in a way that I did not think was possible three years ago.  There are actually moments of time when I feel blissfully happy....and I do my best to bask in those moments and be present.  I cannot believe how full my life is - how much I love these children.  These week was full of those moments:

Myla Eight Months

Late again - and maybe you should just count on that because I've only got about 7-8 weeks left in this pregnancy and our house is in escrow and Mo started preschool yesterday (more on that later).  The truth is that it feels so good to be SO busy.  I never ever thought life could be like this again.

As I am sure you can guess, little Myla keeps me VERY busy (and tired).  She is always wanting to switch up whatever she is doing.  She likes sitting on the floor with toys, being in her stand up activity center, swinging in her swing (yes, it's an infant swing and yes, she's a little old for it, but she still likes it), eating (especially butternut squash, bananas and cheerios), chewing on everything, looking at videos and pictures of herself and carefully watching every move that her big brother makes.  We are CRAZY about her.  She has the best smile and I could chew on those thighs all day every day.

Here is the recap (her 8 month birthday was on January 1st!):