Frequently Asked Questions about our Adoption

Monday, July 7, 2014

We are excited about everyone's excitement over Myla!  She is an awesome baby and yes, we feel very lucky (I think that answers question number 1).  We've received lots of questions about Myla and our decision to adopt - I know people are curious, so hopefully this helps a little:

2. Why did we decide to adopt?
This is the most obvious question with the most difficult to articulate answer.  The truth is that I've been interested in adopting for as long as I can remember.  It's possible that I watched Annie too many times (and no, I am not kidding).  As I got older, I thought about it more and more because I knew there were no guarantees that I would be able to have my own children.  After Maxie was born, Ted and I spoke a lot about adopting from the foster care system.  I think we just loved being parents so much and showering Max with love that the idea of being able to shower a child that wasn't getting that kind of love was really appealing to us.  The week before Max died, I had a lunch with a colleague who adopted his son through the foster care system so that I could ask him a bunch of questions and meet his kid.  After Max died, and the future seemed not worth living, it became something positive we could put our efforts into (though, by that time, adopting from the foster care system felt too scary - because I had heard too many stories of birthmothers changing their minds.)

3. What happened? I thought that this birthmother changed her mind?
Yes, it's true.  There was a major turn around that happened. Myla's birthmother decided 5 days after Myla was born that she wanted to raise her herself and not place her with us.  That was really hard for us and obviously, it was a difficult decision for her too.  I left Georgia thinking I'd never see this baby again.  But a few weeks later, Myla's birthfamily contacted us to say that they were having a change of heart.

To place one's baby for adoption has to be one of the bravest, selfless and most loving things that a parent could do for their child.  This baby was very loved by her birthfamily - mother, father, grandmother, aunts, sister, cousins and all.  To decide to give her a "better life" was not an easy decision for any of them.  It's no wonder it took so much time.

4. How is Mo doing with having a new baby in the house? 
He LOVES her!  See exhibit A.  It is definitely a transition and he has been a little more needy than usual.  He is also making a little emotional switch over to daddy since mommy's hands are fuller than usual (AND, let's face it - daddy is more fun anyway.)  Ted's been waiting patiently for the extra attention for a long time.

Exhibit A:


5. Are you taking maternity leave?
I am not taking maternity leave....a decision that I might regret later.  But, I felt that I should power through, having taken off so much time after Max was born, after he died and then again after Mo was born.  I am also taking a work trip to Israel in early August that I am preparing for - that will be super hard but something I made a commitment to long before knowing Myla even existed.  So far so good though.  I work from home and Mo's nanny is great.  When I am not wearing Myla - she will be taking care of her.
  
6. How are you adjusting? (Otherwise known as "You must be over the moon")
We love her so much.  Quite honestly, it still doesn't really feel like she is ours.  Until the moment we drove home with her, we still really had no sense at all about whether it would really happen or not.  Sometimes it feels like we are just babysitting someone else's kid.  I've been assured by other adoptive parents I've spoken to that this is totally normal and that it just takes some time.  So, we have been mostly holed up at home, getting to know her and creating new routines for our family.

So far, she has been really easy.  She sleeps a lot (because, duh, she's two months old), takes down a 4 ounce bottle every 3 hours or so, only wakes up once during the night (lovely), and is mostly pretty chill.  I like to wear her around a lot in my Moby carrier (and in fact have been wearing her all morning while working at my computer).  She loves being held and played with and isn't very demanding at all.




12 comments:

robyn said...

Thanks for all the info...curious minds wanted to know. I am happy to hear that everyone is adjusting to the newest addition to the family. again, i am so happy for you all...she has no idea how lucky she is to be part of the leviss crew. and i must say that video is too cute.

hugs and love to you all...abby, ted, maxie, mo and myla

Anonymous said...

it was one of the hardest decisisons that I have ever had to make.but I know in my heart that she will have a better life then I can give her at the moment.and truly do love ted and abby for taking my feelings into consideration and caring about how I feel..... love always.

Abby Leviss said...

You are an amazing mother and that is something that this baby will always know. I promise....

Anonymous said...

Thanks that makes my heart so much more content.

Anonymous said...

thank yall for truly being there for my daughter it means so much to her it has helped her at least get some peace from all this she really believes in yall and always will I to believe it is the best thing for mayla and I am trying to get my heart to accept this I guess it will just take some time for my heart to heal please abbey and ted love her and take good care of her she is precious and beautiful I thank god every day for sending yall into my grand daughters life because god has blessed yalls family with something so special words can not describe thanks for every thing love forever tess

Egreeno said...

I can't stop watching that video!!

Anonymous said...

I am so glad yall into mine and mylas life.love yall always reevah

Tiffany said...

mayla is a very loved little girl. she is so lucky <3

Leslie K. said...

I think we need to give Mo's patented Myla nuzzle its own special name!

Anonymous said...

soooooo happy for you and for the whole family!! so so happy!

Anonymous said...

I am sooo excited for you. It's taken me up to today to figure out how to leave a comment. It's in yellow and hard to see. Myla is adorable and that video. No words to describe how cute it is. I've watched it several times. Tears of happiness for you and tears after reading the birth family's notes to you. Sweet/sad. Myla will have a wonderful life with a wonderful family.

Taryn said...

Fantastic pictures! And, I love the new look of the blog!

Blog Design by Nudge Media Design | Powered by Blogger