Frequently Asked Questions about our Adoption

We are excited about everyone's excitement over Myla!  She is an awesome baby and yes, we feel very lucky (I think that answers question number 1).  We've received lots of questions about Myla and our decision to adopt - I know people are curious, so hopefully this helps a little:

2. Why did we decide to adopt?
This is the most obvious question with the most difficult to articulate answer.  The truth is that I've been interested in adopting for as long as I can remember.  It's possible that I watched Annie too many times (and no, I am not kidding).  As I got older, I thought about it more and more because I knew there were no guarantees that I would be able to have my own children.  After Maxie was born, Ted and I spoke a lot about adopting from the foster care system.  I think we just loved being parents so much and showering Max with love that the idea of being able to shower a child that wasn't getting that kind of love was really appealing to us.  The week before Max died, I had a lunch with a colleague who adopted his son through the foster care system so that I could ask him a bunch of questions and meet his kid.  After Max died, and the future seemed not worth living, it became something positive we could put our efforts into (though, by that time, adopting from the foster care system felt too scary - because I had heard too many stories of birthmothers changing their minds.)

3. What happened? I thought that this birthmother changed her mind?
Yes, it's true.  There was a major turn around that happened. Myla's birthmother decided 5 days after Myla was born that she wanted to raise her herself and not place her with us.  That was really hard for us and obviously, it was a difficult decision for her too.  I left Georgia thinking I'd never see this baby again.  But a few weeks later, Myla's birthfamily contacted us to say that they were having a change of heart.

To place one's baby for adoption has to be one of the bravest, selfless and most loving things that a parent could do for their child.  This baby was very loved by her birthfamily - mother, father, grandmother, aunts, sister, cousins and all.  To decide to give her a "better life" was not an easy decision for any of them.  It's no wonder it took so much time.

4. How is Mo doing with having a new baby in the house? 
He LOVES her!  See exhibit A.  It is definitely a transition and he has been a little more needy than usual.  He is also making a little emotional switch over to daddy since mommy's hands are fuller than usual (AND, let's face it - daddy is more fun anyway.)  Ted's been waiting patiently for the extra attention for a long time.

Exhibit A:

5. Are you taking maternity leave?
I am not taking maternity leave....a decision that I might regret later.  But, I felt that I should power through, having taken off so much time after Max was born, after he died and then again after Mo was born.  I am also taking a work trip to Israel in early August that I am preparing for - that will be super hard but something I made a commitment to long before knowing Myla even existed.  So far so good though.  I work from home and Mo's nanny is great.  When I am not wearing Myla - she will be taking care of her.
  
6. How are you adjusting? (Otherwise known as "You must be over the moon")
We love her so much.  Quite honestly, it still doesn't really feel like she is ours.  Until the moment we drove home with her, we still really had no sense at all about whether it would really happen or not.  Sometimes it feels like we are just babysitting someone else's kid.  I've been assured by other adoptive parents I've spoken to that this is totally normal and that it just takes some time.  So, we have been mostly holed up at home, getting to know her and creating new routines for our family.

So far, she has been really easy.  She sleeps a lot (because, duh, she's two months old), takes down a 4 ounce bottle every 3 hours or so, only wakes up once during the night (lovely), and is mostly pretty chill.  I like to wear her around a lot in my Moby carrier (and in fact have been wearing her all morning while working at my computer).  She loves being held and played with and isn't very demanding at all.