On Maxie's Fifth Birthday

Always in my head

India Arie

You're like a cool breeze, on a summer's day

You are a river running through the desert plain

You are my shelter, from the pouring rain

You were my comfort, even before the pain

I can hear the sound of five drummers in the wind

The leaves blowing in the breeze, ring out like guitars

A tin can rolls across the gravel like a tambourine

I am but a vessel, so I sing, because you are.... 

In my head, you're always in my head

In my dreams, you're always in my head

In my pain, you're always in my head

In my peace, you're always in my head

A rainbow of rhythm stretches across the sky

An airplane in the distance, plays a beautiful cello line

It's no coincidence, it's in tune with the music in my head

If you were a shoulder you're where I would rest, but I am your vessel so I hear, you....

In my head,you're always in my head
In my fears,you're always in my head
In my joy,you're always in my head
In my tears, you're always in my head

You're like a cool breeze, on a summer's day 
You are a river, running through a desert plain
You've been my shelter, from the pouring rain
You were my comfort, even before the pain:'cause I hear you

I am heartsick today, on your fifth birthday. I can't stop the tears that keep falling out of my eyes. None of it seems real. And yet, you were real.  You were mine.  And you had all of the potential in the world.  What I wouldn't give to see you grow up.  You are the deepest part of my soul.  You mean everything to me.  I can barely breathe some days without you.  I am so sorry you are gone.  I am so sorry.  I never stop being so sorry. 

Wherever you are Max, my love will find you.