Bittersweet

Since losing Maxie, I have been fantasizing about moving away - as if leaving this place could make the pain go away.  We thought about Portland and Seattle and Israel and Hawaii and Costa Rica.  We wanted a fresh start, an adventure, and some place where we didn't have to worry about driving past Maxie's daycare, the ER, or the cemetery every time we left the house.

As time has passed, we've realized that no matter where we are - we won't be able to leave the pain behind.  For a long time, that put our search on hold....until now.  We are moving - soon!   A new adventure for me in a new place - a new adventure for Ted in an old familiar place.  It is starting to feel real.  I am really excited and also so so sad.

I am sad to leave this familiar place that I've spent most of my life in.  This town that everyone loves to hate is a place that I love to love.  I've always loved LA.  Always, always.  I get why people don't like it - traffic, superficial Hollywood people.....uh, traffic.  But I love the sunshine, the beach, the mountains, the canyons, the endless list of places to eat, drink and play.  Most of that has felt pretty empty for a long time, but I will still miss it.

I will miss friends and family and special places and old traditions. Of course we will visit, but it won't be the same. 

Despite all this, I'm really excited - really. Look out East Coast! Here we come!