Even playing field

The way I see it, we are all on an even playing field when it comes to the end of our days. I realize that some of us are in great health and others are not. I am not saying that health is evenly distributed - it certainly is not. But, someone with a terminal illness could live 10 more years and their spouse could die tomorrow in a car crash. My grandmother lived to be in her nineties and her great grandson only lived nine months. My father's father lived until 73. My father, approaching that age in a few years, worries that his time will end then- because his father's did. But I could go before he does, as my son went before me. There is no way of knowing. There are no guarantees. I'm trying to just come to peace with all that because I was SUPPOSED to go before Max. I would rather not outlive anyone else but chances are, I will.