Moriah said something to me during her reading a couple of weeks ago that has stuck (well, apparently my grandpa Jack communicated it - but Moriah said it).  She was talking about a difficult relationship in my life and why it is the way it is.  She ended by saying, "Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?".  Good Question!  It kind of gets to the crux of most of the issues I have with other people.  Sometimes I just can't believe that these people refuse to take responsibility for their actions.  And often I KNOW I AM RIGHT to think that.  But, you know what?  They think the same thing about me.  No matter how right I know I am...they know they are right too.  And, even though I feel like I shouldn't have to be the one to forgive - I WOULD rather be happy than right.  It doesn't mean that I've let go of all of my hurt and gotten all  "Kumbaya" - it just means that I have bigger battles to fight  - like with my own demons.  I don't have the energy to be mad anymore.  People don't change - you either have to forgive them and change your expectations or stay mad.  I am trying to choose the first method.

PS- I forgot to mention my BEST BEST FRIEND ON EARTH Marla yesterday!!!!!  Sorry Malsie.  You know I love you ;)


Anonymous said...

I am not suffering the same loss as you are but this post was perfect for so many struggles I am facing. Thank you so much for your words. They helped with some anger and bitterness I am struggling with and I am going to try to live by these words. I am sorry for the reason you keep this blog, but I love reading your words and about your journey. Best to you. Andrea

Zoie said...

Hi Abby,

It's been a while since I've written but I am still checking in and thinking of you. I came across this man Stephen Jenkinson who is from around where I am from. An acquaintance of mine with a very sick teenager recently posted a video of his. I always think about death and for some reason living by the ocean now makes me do it more, so I found it quite beautiful and sad. You can check out his website by googling Orphan Wisdom. He also has a documentary called Griefwalker. The short video I watched was entitled "The meaning of Death" Heavy, I know, but just passing it on. I hope this doesn't find you at the wrong time. I lost your email and wanted to send this to you personally. Could I have it again? Or just tell me to go away. Thinking of you all.


Maxie's Mommy said...

Zoie - I don;t know if I ever had your email. I've tried to find it!! I am at teddyabby at gmail dot com. Thank you for sending this.