Run Away With Me

I told Ted that I am so in love with Mo that I wish we could run away together.  Ted looked at me as though I had lost my marbles.  I often use really romantic terms to describe my love for my two babies.  I think men only equate romance with sex.  Maybe it only makes sense to a mother, but the love between a parent and a child is so strong and yes, romantic, that those are really the only terms available to describe this kind of love.  It's a different kind of romance. Max was my soulmate - he really was.  AND I sort of want to run away with Mo.

Mo and I are in a really special point in our relationship.  He is all about his momma and there is no amount of hugs and kisses and cuddles I can give him that feels smothering to him.  He always wants more of me.  When I am carrying him around in my ergo, he'll just grab my face and kiss me.  When I am cooking dinner, he is standing around my legs, hugging them and whining that I won't pick him up.  When we are reading together or watching tv, he lifts up my shirt and tries to bury his head into my belly.  He wants to press his face against mine all day long, and the feeling is totally mutual.

I know it won't be this way forever.  People tell me that this is a phase.  So, my wanting to run away with him is just a metaphor for my desire to bottle up this time together so I can cherish it forever - to remember it with perfect clarity because life itself and all of the individual moments that are part of life is and are fleeting and I don't know how to capture the feelings perfectly enough so that I won't lose them forever.

 I have never been this loved in my life.  I have never been able to hug and kiss and cuddle and not smother someone else with my saying "I love you" all of the time.  It is really special.

Before I know it, he will have his own friends to play with.  After that, he will likely be choosing to watch or play football with dad instead of hanging with me.  Not long after that, I will probably be kind of embarrassing to him.  I want to remember THIS TIME, when I am the person he is most crazy about, forever.