An old partner in crime

Another highlight of my weekend in Arizona was spending some time (not nearly enough) with my girlfriend Lindsay.  We grew up spending summers together at Camp Ramah in Ojai, California - chasing boys, getting into trouble, and laughing until we sometimes peed in our pants.

She and I were two thirds of a threesome that included our friend Carly and we later became a foursome when we connected to our friend Tamar.  Lindsay and Carly were the ones to teach me how to put on make-up and tease my hair (I learned how, I just never did it much).  She is one of the funniest people I have ever met and taught me at a very young age to embrace who I am.  She was brave and brazen - fearless and admired.  She is a good person to have on your team, but also someone you wouldn't want to piss off.  She was always one of my biggest fans...and it goes both ways.  Lindsay and I both had loving families and very little childhood drama or teenage angst.  One of my fondest childhood memories was traveling to Phoenix at 12 years old for Lindsay's bat-mitzvah.  Our friend Carly and I got a lot of attention for being the California girls.  We spent lots of time hamming it up with Lindsay and her older brother Darryl.  He was so cool.  I remember thinking that if I had an older brother, I would want him to be just like Darryl.  Darryl looked like Lindsay with boys clothes.

About 6 years ago, Lindsay lost her adorable mother to cancer.  I know it tore her world apart.  She misses her so much still, every single day.  Lindsay looks so much like her beautiful mom.  They were incredibly close.

Maxie was born on Lindsay's birthday.  What a fun auntie she was sure to be to him.  She has a big personality and has always loved children.  The kids at summer camp always followed her around like the Pied Piper.  When Max was three months old, Lindsay texted me to tell me that Darryl suddenly died.  Darryl - who might as well have been Lindsay's twin - her best friend and brother.  It makes no sense.  She was and is devastated.  He left behind his beautiful wife, Nichole, and three adorable children.  Nicholas is 17, Justin is 14 and Abby is 6.  Her world, already so hard to make sense of, was totally shattered.  Her sister in law and their children have since moved from California to Arizona and I know that they keep each other good company - they understand each others loss.  Lindsay is someone who I have been connecting to deeply since losing Max.  Though our losses are different, we both feel like we totally lost who we were before.  We were both funny, outgoing, happy people before.  Today, we are both shrouded in grief, feeling misunderstood, missing our loved ones at every moment.  I hope I am not selling her out by saying that she has been seeking too....wanting to make a connection with her mom and brother....looking (sometimes begging) for signs.  Lindsay and Nichole contacted Moriah separately hoping to connect to Lindsay's mom and brother.  Moriah didn't know they were related.  In both readings, they heard from their loved ones.  Lindsay says it was a life altering experience for both of them.  She only called me afterwards to tell me she had done it, so it isn't as if I called Moriah and told her that my friend was calling and who she had lost.  I felt like hearing the validation that they got from their readings helped to validate my reading.  I know it sounds weird...but my reading was about MY loved ones and theirs was about THEIR loved ones.  It felt less like a good guess, if that makes sense.

Despite our very great losses, our faces and hearts lit up to be together for the short time we had on Saturday.  My mom said we looked just like we did as little girls.  I don't know about "looked like" part (though the only change I really see in Lindsay is that her hair is much flatter these days....she's still as cute as she was when I met her in the summer after the 4th grade) but I always feel like a kid with Lindsay.  She is my childhood hero and still one of the most wonderful women I know.

1 comment

S Wacher said...

Very fond memories of you two. Just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you and send my love to you and Ted