The Medium Part III

I have been playing part of a recorded conversation that I had with Moriah ( back in December for some of my family members.  In the recording, she asks me about Mo's due date and I tell her it's July 27th (according to MY calculations of when "the deed" was done, Mo's due date was two days later than Dr. D's calculations based on whatever he bases it on).  She comments on how cool that is (she knows 27 is Ted's lucky number.  In my first reading with her, she asked me why she sees the number 27 surrounding my husband and I explained to her that it is his lucky number and that he sees it all of the time).  She then asks me if I am planning on having a cesarean section.  I tell her that I am not planning on it but if it happens, it happens.  Then she laughs and says, "I'm laughing, and I don't mean to be cruel, but it looks like you are going to have a very big baby."  "Ok", I say.  And she says "Don't be surprised if you get the 9 pound wonder.... between 9 and 10 pounds".  Mo was 9.52 pounds.  She also says he will have a lot of dark hair - which he does.  "A yarmulke of hair" is what she then calls it and says those are my grandpa's words and he is laughing.  And, though I didn't have a C-section, Dr. D thinks that I would have, had I waited until the due date.  She also tells me Mo would be very healthy and told me in both of my readings with her that "it" would never happen to us again.

Moriah is one of the three mediums that have given me very accurate readings over the past year.  And, again, I KNOW that the whole business with mediums is controversial and that you may not believe in them and whatever else but perhaps you will forgive my silliness when you put it in perspective.  I am devastated and heartbroken.  The three mediums that did these amazing readings for me brought me more comfort than anything other than Mo has been able to give me since I lost my Maxie.  I am writing about them again because enough of you have told me that you believe or that you are interested.  I figured it was worth a follow up post (and probably several more as time goes on.)

The medium that I met with in Phoenix also predicted Mo being large...and late.  Obviously we don't know if Mo would have been late.  I wasn't patient enough to wait and find out.  He knew I was pregnant with a boy this time.  He told me that this baby was going to look like and remind me so much of Maxie.  He is right.  As Ted says, sometimes when we are cuddling up with Mo, it feels like we've gotten into the Delorean and literally gone back in time to when Maxie was this small.  That medium talked about a bunch of other stuff as well that he could never have known about.  He talked about a basket of nail polish that I received as a donation for Maxie's benefit.  He talked about a trip that Ted and I have been planning to Hawaii.  Most importantly, he knew exactly how Max died (well, he knew it was "SIDS") and he knew how old Max was when he passed.

The most amazing medium I spoke to was in March.  It was over the phone.  She was so accurate with everything she said that I thought (and still wonder) if she had found my blog ahead of time.  She rattled off my parents names, my grandparents names, Max's cause of death, Beth's name, Paul's name.  She knew that Beth was raising money in Max's name, she knew that we were planting trees in Max's memory, she knew that we were seeing geneticists to figure out what had happened.  These ARE all things she could have found on my blog.  But, she knew stuff that my blog couldn't have told her.  She knew I was pregnant and we hadn't yet told anyone but our parents.  She knew Ted's middle name, which I don't think I have posted anywhere (Michael).  She knew my father-in-law's first name and his brother's middle name.  These are things she couldn't have found on my blog.  There were many other things that she knew but couldn't have researched about us (and really, I wasn't paying her enough for all of that research to have been worthwhile.  Just reading all of my blog would have taken at least a few hours).  It still blows my mind to think about it.  If it was a trick somehow, then this woman is a master of trickery.

All three mediums promised me that we would never lose another child, that "this" would never happen to us again.  All three mediums said that we would find happiness again.  All three said that the next baby would be a girl (it's never too early to start thinking about the next baby, is it?).  To this day, I can't tell you with any certainty whether I believe or not.  What I can tell you is that believing has given me some peace of mind when I have needed it most.  What I can tell you is that the idea that Max is "out there" waiting for me brings tears to my eyes and hopefulness to my heart.  The idea of our reunion gives me more joy than you can imagine.  With Mo here and Max there, I have a lot to live for and look forward to.  I wish with my whole heart that it could be different, but it isn't.  And in the absence of the life I truly believe we deserve, these promises of a "life" with Maxie again one day is what I am clinging to.


Lanie said...

I too have seen mediums over the years. Searching for knowledge that Jake and Sawyer are ok and some sort of explanation for their deaths. Sawyer has been part of one of Dr. Ackerman's studies but so far there are still no answers. I do not know what to believe a lot of the time but I am with you in that I am counting on being with my sons again one day (as you know it is a tricky balance with children with us and not physically with us). Sending you hugs and peace.

Chantel said...

I read on another blog... That sweet mom has lost both of her babies. She had a post on this morning wanting to know if any one had a reputable medium they could recommend. I thought of your post. I hope you don't mind, but I left your blog address in case she wants to get in touch with you. I though maybe you'd have some recommendations for her.