Maxie Moo-mers

I haven't written about my little monkey in a little while.  It nearly makes me too sad to think about how perfect he MUCH I love him and ache for him.  But HE is the reason that I write this blog.  HE is the most important person who has ever entered our lives.  HE is the one whose life our lives still revolve around - even in his absence.

This is the photo evidence of our first cuddle.  Mommy and baby.  TRUE LOVE.  When he was laid on my chest, I was consumed with love.  THIS was the little creature that had been crawling around inside of me all of those months.  THIS was the little baby I waited my whole life for.  Our future flashed before my eyes.  It was long and it was rich.

This is my sweetness, sleeping so sweetly.  This is the photo we have framed in our room.  The one that I wish "sweet dreams" to every night.  This is my baby as I remember him most peacefully.  This is my beautiful baby.

Look at my pumpkin.  What a cute phase.  One I knew would embarrass him when he got older, but one that I knew I would cherish for a lifetime.  This baby was too special.  Perfect in every way - even perfect in his need to have his little headed rounded out.  Too cute.  I am smiling as I write these words.  My heart is soaring out of my chest with pride and love.

My favorite photo.  My greatest love.  Maxie Judah - there is nobody cuter than you, my love.  Nobody whose life has touched my soul like yours.  Every day without you is an eternity.  My sweet boy - Why did you leave me?  I can't go on without you.  Promise me we'll be together again.

Happy boy!  Your daddy and I, once so happy, are now so sad.  If my own sorrow doesn't melt my heart, the sadness I see in your daddy's eyes will surely break me (if I do not break him first).  I had a memory this morning of our morning routine.  Of the very last part, where daddy carries you into our bedroom after he has picked out your outfit for the day, changed your diaper and dressed you.  He carried you sitting in his arms, facing outwards.  You would come into the room, both facing me....both looking so proud!  Your face saying, "This is my daddy".  His face saying, "This is my son".  My heart screaming - "This is my family!".  I love you, my monkey.  More than any of these words will ever show.


Tiffany Torres said...

wow that is one amazing little boy. i know you are so proud to be his mother. and by the look on this face, he is equally as proud to be your son. i KNOW that makes the heartache even worse. and i'm sorry. i'm so sorry that you have to go through each day without that little boy.

jessica said...

What a sweet and beautiful boy. I LOVE the bathtub picture. It's always been one of my favorites. He was so cute during bathtime! There is so much love and happiness coming from him in each of these pictures - a pure and wonderous reflection of all the love and happiness that you and Ted gave to him. You and Ted gave Maxie such a beautiful life. I'm so, so sorry that he is not here with you guys. I love you all so very much. xo

Taryn said...

Absolutely gorgeous. Exquisite, perfect baby boy! What a gift you have shared with us today! Thank you!

Meg said...

He is so beautiful. What an amazing child. I feel honored to get to see these photos. Thank you for sharing them.

Tamar said...

Maxie is perfect and sweet and beautiful and such a love. And he was/is SO loved. You and Ted will always be his parents.

Leslie K. said...

Such an adorable and happy child! I just love that photo of him in the bathtub. I swear I can see in that pic that he shares your sense of humor, Abbs!