Divine Timing

Sometimes, when it feels like there are no more miracles, when life has lost all meaning, and when you are all alone in a big menacing world - someone sends you a sign that there is still beauty out there. It has happened to me many times over the last nine months.  I connect to someone who understands me and who I understand as well.  A beautiful evening comes together and we are shown just how much the people in our lives care.  A group of strangers hold you in their hearts and prayers and shower you with love, attention and gifts.  Friends, family, friends of friends and people you don't even know, help to honor the memory of your truest love.  The promise of a new life comes along, encouraging hope, courage and new joy.

Yesterday a small gift came from a stranger at exactly the right moment.  It actually felt like Maxie's spirit had inspired this lovely angel to send us some love just at a time when I felt like I had lost all of my hope.  I won't explain the details of the day (or rather, week).  I have been in the deepest, darkest pit of grief for the last week or so for various reasons.  I just haven't been able to imagine the sun light coming through and ever touching my heart again.  Probably coming home from Cancun and then again from the sacred bubble of my Arizona conference experience had something to do with it.  But, yesterday afternoon I left the house for a few hours and when I returned, feeling broken, there was a package on the doorstep.  It came from a blog reader of mine.  A woman named Emalee in Utah, who I have never met.  She quilted a little blanket for Baby M.  Oh my goodness!  I just love it.  I can see how much love went into the stitching.  I hope she doesn't mind my sharing the card.  It is just beautiful.

Dear Abby and Ted,
I hope you enjoy the blanket.  It is a little crooked, as it is my first attempt on my own.  Hopefully Baby M does not notice.
I chose to include stars in your blanket because of a book I've been reading lately.  One of the characters calls the love of her life her "moon and stars".
Because Maxie loved Goodnight Moon and had "eyes as big as moonpies", I thought he could be the moon and Baby M the stars.
I also included stars because they punctuate the darkness, but do not change that it is night.  They just provide some direction, hope or safety.  I believe you when you say it is dark.
I hope Baby M can provide some light in that darkness just like the stars.
I hope you like the gift, and that if anything, it lets you know that  people care about you.  Even those you've never met.
Love, Michael, Emalee and Sam

Here is it, on the glider Ted bought me for Mother's Day last year.  

Little Jakey is chillin' right behind it.

Just beautiful!  Right?  I am kvelling (google it).  There have been so many moments like this.  Just hearing from friends and family and strangers on my blog, by email, through phone calls, texts and occasional visits - I know that we are not alone.  We are surrounded by love, even if sometimes I have such heavy blinders on that I cannot see it.  Thank you Emalee, for reminding me how beautiful this world can sometimes be.  I have needed it so much.