Today is my last day in Israel. I am ready to go home. I am tired of the schlepping and the bus rides. I'm tired of the stories and the visits. I am ready to go home so I can hug and kiss my baby.  I miss my guys a lot.

Today is a day that I've been dreading a little as well. I will be leaving the group for a little while to meet my friends in Maxie's Forest to dedicate the pillar that was erected in his memory. It's something super special - a driver will come and pick up my boss and I and drive us to the spot where we will meet up with my Israel family (none of whom are blood relatives). We will have snacks and drinks and some time to just be with each other in a beautiful setting - away from the buses and the programs and the noise. But my heart is breaking to be going to a spot that shouldn't exist. A place that could never EVER - no matter how beautiful - come close to filling the spot that Max left  in my heart. The gaping hole that makes every day challenging for me. 

To be here without Mo and Ted is hard. I wish that they were at this dedication today with me. To be here without Max is impossible. I still can't believe I get up every day, get dressed, eat breakfast, work, interact with people, smile, make jokes. It's other worldly. It's unreal. 

To my Max: "The sun still shines when you're not here - but never as bright - never ever the same." You are my whole heart. You are never forgotten. Not even for one minute. I'll love you for an eternity.


Egreeno said...

Thinking of Maxie a ton today and sending you all my love and strength.

Anonymous said...

You are in my thoughts and prayers today on what must be an impossible mission. I hope you feel Maxie near.