Stockpiling the Vita!

In not my proudest moment in Israel, I fell through a glass table in my hotel room.  After crashing a wedding with my colleagues, I came back to find that the lighting in the room was entirely inadequate to find the PJs in my suitcase.  In a stroke of tipsy brilliance, I decided to lift my heavy luggage and gently put it on top of a glass coffee table next to my bedside table so I could use the lamp there to get a better look inside.  I'd be putting it mildly if I said things didn't go exactly as planned.  My bag broke the glass and I lost my balance and we all went falling through.  The glass wasn't tempered and broke in long scary sheets and I cut up my left arm and right leg pretty bad. The next morning, I did an unusual walk of shame to breakfast - wondering if anyone would notice that I was all gashed up.

Turns out I wasn't the only one who'd used my glass coffee table as a luggage rack (just the only one who broke the glass table doing so).  I suppose it wasn't as big of a dummy move as I thought it might have been.  I remembered from a past trip that our bus driver was also a medic and I let him bandage me up and give me advice.  My right hand pinkie looked BAD but he said he didn't think I needed stitches so I went with that.  I really did not want to spend one minute of my trip in a hospital.  I have a pretty high tolerance for pain so I just ignored the slashes all over my body for the most part.  After a few days of still bleeding - I was given the most incredible product EVER!!!!

An Israeli friend of mine went to the pharmacy and brought me back a tube of Vita Merfen.  I know you've never heard of it fellow Americans - because I really don't think you can get it here (not even on Amazon).  Oh how I wish I had taken before photos of these cuts so that I could juxtapose them with my almost healed wounds.  The difference is amazing. My pinkie had been bleeding for two straight days and I was seriously considering going to the emergency room to get stitches and after using the Vita for one night, it had stopped.  You can barely see the mark now.  Amazing.  I was instantly obsessed with the stuff and spent an afternoon googling it.  The best page I found about the Vita Merfen was this:  Hilarious.

So, I've literally been using it on bruises and blemishes and any irregular bumpage or mark.  Mozie fell down and scraped his wrist, I put Vita on it and the scrape was gone by the next morning.  I told my Israeli friend about the obsession with the Vita and got 3 more tubes in the mail.  I am stockpiling.  The stuff is amazing.  I think it's a Swiss product - look for it when you are abroad (or know someone who is going abroad) and buy it in bulk (the lotion, not the spray - though I am sure it has magical powers as well).  I believe that it would probably even rejuvenate wrinkly parts.  If it weren't so precious, I'd smear it all over my face.  I don't really believe that things happen for a reason but if I did, I'd say that I smashed through a glass table so that I could discover the all-powerful Vita Merfen.

And, no, this is not a sponsored post.


robyn said...

you're hilarious (as is the blog post you linked here) and this stuff sounds amazing. i'll definitely keep on the lookout when i'm abroad.

Amanda said...

Hi Abby,
Am attaching an article you may find of interest.
Hmmm. It appears I can't attach. If you are interested, contact me at I'll send it to you. It is written more like a book proposal by a therapist who has done extensive research on abandonment. Her own grief from the loss of her partner, eventually became the catalyst for her newest work. I sense that you will find comfort in and recognize so many of your feelings and experiences. The author's name is Susan Anderson and the article is entitled, Suffeing the Death of a Loved One.