More in common than you think

You and I have more in common than you think.

I would also like to avoid sad things.

Death also makes me very uncomfortable, confused, and depressed.

I also have no idea what to say most of the time.  I also worry about saying the wrong thing.

This is also my first time in a situation like this.

You were blindsided when I told you that I'd lost my son.  I was blindsided when I lost him.

I was also a very worried parent. Losing a child was and is also my biggest fear.

This is the one major difference - I don't get to choose to not deal with Maxie's death or the people who were most affected by it.  You do.

You can choose to avoid me.

You can choose to tell me that I should be over it by now or that at least I can have other children.

You can choose to ignore that my heart is broken without Max or to pretend that everything is right in the world.

Or, you can choose to be a friend - treat me as an equal - to have fun with me, laugh with me, continue to make plans with me, and help me to memorialize my beautiful son.

You and I have more in common than you think.  This is really scary for both of us.


Jane Harris (Edmonds) said...

So true...... I have also made the discovery that some people are afraid of our our ups and downs..... too much to tolerate.......too painful.....too scarey.....if only they knew what we know...the absurdity would be beyond words.....but kinda hope they never find out.
Thinking of you and your beautiful son Maxie
Holding you in my thoughts

Taryn said...

Excellent post! Thank you for writing this!