Sunday Field Trip

Ted and I were somehow able to have a very light day (for us) yesterday in light of all of the drama going on over here.  I love weekends with Ted.  He makes me feel safe.  I get glimpses of my old self when I am with Ted: like yesterday when we both "Roger Rabbited" and "Running Manned" around our deck simultaneously when Bel Biv DeVoe's classic song, 'Poison' surprised us on the stereo.  The Roger Rabbit ain't easy in Croc flip flops at a large eight months pregnant - trust me.  I am pretty sure I nailed it though.  (On a related note, Ted told our grief counselor a few months ago that he knew that I was still in here somewhere one weekend in the fall when I broke into a torso-only dance/shoulder roll in the car to Jonny Gill's hit "Rub you the right way").  When Ted and I occasionally are so lucky to have moments of brevity, I don't have to worry that he thinks I am ok now.  We both understand that no matter what we are doing, that just underneath our surface, we both still feel completely broken.

Anyway, before the Roger Rabbit incident, we drove to Bronson Canyon to visit the "Batman Caves", where they filmed the original Batman television series.  It has been on my list of things to do since about high school.  I finally made it.  It was actually pretty cool.  It is literally a five minute walk from the parking lot to the caves.  It also happens to share a parking lot with my first summer sleepaway camp - "Camp Hollywoodland" - the most awesome all-girls camp EVER!!!!!!  After our "hike", we went and got foot massages and then lunch in Thai Town (I'm not sure if they have these foot massage places all over the country but they are $20-$25 for an hour and they actually give you a full body massage with your clothes on - super relaxing.  I have had at least 20 in the last 10 months).  We came home and Ted worked on his home remodel projects while I worked on projects for the baby.

We are trying to pass the days as calmly as possible until 1) We meet with the geneticists this week and then 2) Baby M arrives.  It is hard work.  Grieving is just about the most tiring thing I have ever done in my life.  Scratch that - it is the MOST tiring thing I have ever done.  And, it never stops.  I am so glad to have gotten through the weekend, even though I know that the weekdays are my biggest challenge.  So, here's to hoping I can get through another week.


Susan Ireland said...

Lots of positives here - you know you have to get through the days; you are still madly in love with your husband; you are still trying. I think filling the days is the best you can hope for at the moment; brilliant to find some distracting things to do, and touch is very calming too. Keep going - you are doing so well x

robyn said...

i have a gorgeous image in my head of you and ted dancing on the deck. i love you guys.