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Wednesday, April 10, 2013

A bunch of friends sent me this article a couple of days ago about how to talk to someone who is going through an upheaval (grief, illness....).  Thank you for sending this along and thinking of me.  It is a very smart and simple way to think about how to talk to someone whose life is in upheaval.
http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/commentary/la-oe-0407-silk-ring-theory-20130407,0,2074046.story


The one thing I would say that this article doesn't, is that in MY case (and I can only speak for myself), I DO like to know that Max's death was tragic for other people.  I hate when people act like it never happened or like it was a light affair.  My friend Carmen sent me an email several months ago saying that Max's death was the most tragic and terrible thing that had ever happened in HER life and that because of that she can only imagine how much more horrible it was for me.  It was one of the most meaningful emails I have received.  I hated seeing everyone go on with their own lives after Max died like nothing had happened.  I couldn't believe that people were still hanging out and out on the town and taking family vacations and going to sporting events....when my baby had died.  I don't care if it makes sense - my brain and heart haven't been connected in a year in almost nine months.  I say - tell me how how heartbroken you are and then acknowledge how exponentially worse it is for me as his mom.

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