Rescheduled Sunday

Last Sunday, I had a whole plan in place.  It was a day I had been looking forward to for some time.  Ted would watch Mo.  They would go over to my mom's to swim and have dinner.  I packed up all of the things he would need for the day, we traded cars (I have a CRV....much more baby friendly that Ted's Jeep Wrangler), and I drove for an hour to my destination: I would be attending a grief meeting with a special speaker.  I was really excited - strange to be excited about going to a grief meeting but I don't have time right now for the meetings that don't lift me up.  By the time I got there, I had to head straight for the restroom.  While I was in there, I could hear the people outside talking about their disappointment.  I wasn't quite piecing it together.  I came out and scanned the room for the speaker, who wasn't there.  That's when the organizer got my attention and let me know he'd been in a small car accident on the way to the event.  My heart sank with disappointment.  She told me he was fine, he just wasn't going to make it.  I felt sick.  I really felt sick to my stomach.  I sat down to what became an impromptu meeting of the folks who'd shown up.  Everyone began telling their stories, I sat for a little while and then excused myself.  Being away from Mo isn't easy for me.  I only do it for things I REALLY feel can't be missed or feel like they might be healing or are important.  I felt nauseous the whole way to my mom's.  I was told that the speaker felt really bad and was planning to reschedule sometime during the week (he's from out of town).  So I basically spent the week refreshing my email non-stop, waiting to hear about the reschedule.  Today we are giving this a second go.  I am taking the Jeep and Ted is taking Mo to meet a brand new baby (BRAND new)!  Wish me luck!

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