Ted and I are like any other couple in that we sometimes bicker. We bicker about incredibly stupid stuff - stuff that doesn't matter at all. I don't think we are more special than other couples or immune from having these kinds of spats but, having gone through what we've been through, I expect more from us. It should be glaringly obvious to us what the small stuff is and what really matters. We should be more delicate with each others feelings, knowing the emotional hell that dwells just below the surface in both of us.
We are both guilty of it.
I believe that what Ted and I have is special, made more precious by the shared loss of our baby boy. We should be more careful with each other. We should stop dwelling on meaningless nonsense. None of it matters. All that matters is our family, Mo, and our memories of Maxie.
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I think any couple who has gone through losing a child feels just like you do. I know I do. After everything my husband and I have been through, how can it be possible to fight over anything trivial, but we do. And you know what, sometimes it feels almost good to be like other "normal" couples who fight about clothes on the floor and dishes in the sink. For one small minute, we are just like them.....
We are the same. We still argue about stupid stuff that doesn't matter at all. I understand that after what we have been gone through, nothing really matters. But on the other hand, I feel I am so not blessed and that makes me more bitter and cold and less willing to control my temper. I hope I can be better.
Bickering about dumb stuff is inevitable. There is no such thing as a silver lining to losing a child. But, despite the myth that losing a child breaks up marriages, it seems like many marriages get stronger in spite of such a devastating loss. Although we're only 7 months into this, our marriage is as strong as it's ever been. No one will understand the loss of my son better than my husband and no one else can understand his pain and help him than I can. There is strength in moving through loss together.
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