Stockpiling the Vita!

In not my proudest moment in Israel, I fell through a glass table in my hotel room.  After crashing a wedding with my colleagues, I came back to find that the lighting in the room was entirely inadequate to find the PJs in my suitcase.  In a stroke of tipsy brilliance, I decided to lift my heavy luggage and gently put it on top of a glass coffee table next to my bedside table so I could use the lamp there to get a better look inside.  I'd be putting it mildly if I said things didn't go exactly as planned.  My bag broke the glass and I lost my balance and we all went falling through.  The glass wasn't tempered and broke in long scary sheets and I cut up my left arm and right leg pretty bad. The next morning, I did an unusual walk of shame to breakfast - wondering if anyone would notice that I was all gashed up.

Turns out I wasn't the only one who'd used my glass coffee table as a luggage rack (just the only one who broke the glass table doing so).  I suppose it wasn't as big of a dummy move as I thought it might have been.  I remembered from a past trip that our bus driver was also a medic and I let him bandage me up and give me advice.  My right hand pinkie looked BAD but he said he didn't think I needed stitches so I went with that.  I really did not want to spend one minute of my trip in a hospital.  I have a pretty high tolerance for pain so I just ignored the slashes all over my body for the most part.  After a few days of still bleeding - I was given the most incredible product EVER!!!!

An Israeli friend of mine went to the pharmacy and brought me back a tube of Vita Merfen.  I know you've never heard of it fellow Americans - because I really don't think you can get it here (not even on Amazon).  Oh how I wish I had taken before photos of these cuts so that I could juxtapose them with my almost healed wounds.  The difference is amazing. My pinkie had been bleeding for two straight days and I was seriously considering going to the emergency room to get stitches and after using the Vita for one night, it had stopped.  You can barely see the mark now.  Amazing.  I was instantly obsessed with the stuff and spent an afternoon googling it.  The best page I found about the Vita Merfen was this: http://mel-eigenheer.blogspot.com/2010/08/vita-merfen-to-rescue.html.  Hilarious.

So, I've literally been using it on bruises and blemishes and any irregular bumpage or mark.  Mozie fell down and scraped his wrist, I put Vita on it and the scrape was gone by the next morning.  I told my Israeli friend about the obsession with the Vita and got 3 more tubes in the mail.  I am stockpiling.  The stuff is amazing.  I think it's a Swiss product - look for it when you are abroad (or know someone who is going abroad) and buy it in bulk (the lotion, not the spray - though I am sure it has magical powers as well).  I believe that it would probably even rejuvenate wrinkly parts.  If it weren't so precious, I'd smear it all over my face.  I don't really believe that things happen for a reason but if I did, I'd say that I smashed through a glass table so that I could discover the all-powerful Vita Merfen.

And, no, this is not a sponsored post.