Mo's arrival

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Mo's birth was a mercy induction.  By Saturday, I was so overwhelmed with grief and Pupps and other pregnancy pain that I could barely stand it anymore.  Ted suggested that we move up the induction date, after all - inducing on the evening of the 24th was just as arbitrary in some ways.  I did not take much convincing.  I needed a light at the end of the tunnel.

So, we went in on Sunday night at 10 pm and they started me on a low dose of pitocin.  All of our nurses throughout the evening were amazing and had clearly already been informed of our story ahead of time, which was a blessing.  They didn't ask any questions really and were very compassionate.  I am not going to bore you with every detail.  There were highs (back scratches from Courtney, my ANGEL high school friend/doula) and lows (low blood pressure and nausea for a while) until I went into active labor around 12:30.  I was taken off the epidural (something I would come to regret) and then pushed for the next 2 hours.  Mo was not coming out easy and my epidural pretty much wore off by the time we were done.  We had no idea how big he was.  Finally, at 2:32, out came our enormous baby - 9 lbs, 5.2 ounces.  21 inches long.  CRAZY!  No wonder I was so uncomfortable.  We were so happy to see his little face - such a little Leviss!  Looking so much like his big brother.

I have to say, this was the complete opposite experience from Maxie's birth.  With Max, my water broke at 11 pm at 36 weeks pregnant, we got to the hospital by 12 am.  I got an epidural at 3 am, slept until 8 or so and then pushed for about 30 minutes starting at 9:40 am or so and gave birth to a teeny tiny 6.8 pnd baby, hardly feeling a thing.  I honestly could not understand what the fuss about giving birth was all about.  With Mo, I was literally screaming "Get him out of me Dr. D!" by the end.  Night and day!  When Dr. D came to visit our room yesterday he said something like - had we known he was going to be that big, we would have induced 2 weeks earlier.  My mom also remembers him saying, "I can't believe that big baby came out of that vagina!"  If HE can't believe it, then I don't know.... this kid must really be large!

Recovery from this pregnancy feels like it might take a while.  I am sore EVERYWHERE.  Mo nurses like crazy.  I totally can't keep up.  We have already had to supplement a bit with formula.  We'll see what happens.  It is really important that a baby this big eats whenever he needs to and since my milk hasn't come in yet, formula was suggested by every doctor and nurse who visited our room.  We watched this video that said that newborns on average eat 8-10 times a day.  I counted up how many times Mo had eaten this morning over the previous 24 hours - 18 times!  My boobs are KILLING....as is my back and I am cramping like crazy and I still have PUPPS!  I am SO itchy!

The last 3 days have been a crazy mix of emotions.  Mostly pure joy but there is a grief storm that I know is hiding for now and just waiting to roll in.  I love this baby.  Oh my lord - I LOVE THIS BABY!  Ted and I are both overwhelmed with how much of a blessing he is for us.  He has given us back our lives - he is our reason for living.  But, I cannot look into this face and not see my Maxie Moo.  Yesterday, I held Mo close and found myself in a puddle of tears, begging him not to ever leave me.  I couldn't live through losing him.  He is the most important living person in our lives.  He is wonderful.  He is perfect.  I have never ever wanted anything more in my whole life than I wanted this boy.  I am over the moon that he is finally here.  But, oh, I miss my Maxie.  I miss him from a place so deep in my heart  - the place that is permanently broken.

Little Mo - He's already made me so much happier than I imagined possible this past year.  We are trying to focus on that for now and it is beautiful.  Still, it is next to impossible not to make comparisons.


Newborn Max

Newborn Mo

I love these boys!

15 comments:

Jenny Romanowski said...

He is soo beautiful! He looks like a bigger version of Max! All the prayers in the world to you, Ted, baby Morris and Maxie! This baby is the luckiest boy in the world he has one of the best mommy and daddy I know!!

Stephanie Sajjadieh said...

I'm so thrilled for you all!

Rachael said...

Abby, thank you so much for continuing to share your life with us, the joy and the pain. Not that your suffering is (or will every be) behind you but its a tremendous gift to read that Mo has effectively become a reason for you and Ted to live and to even experience joy.

Oh, and...GO AWAY PUPPS!!!! Enough is enough!

jkbrumbaugh@gmail.com said...

Abby Yes thank you for sharing. Both of your boys are so beautiful. He looks like Maxies twin. I'm so happy, super happy he is doing so good. You did amazing. Kira

Becca said...

Wow! Seeing their pics together like that is really something - they really do look like twins!! My boys don't even look related. ;)

Mazal tov again - they are both gorgeous. Good job! I hope you are free of pupps soon - I've heard it's just awful.

Susan said...

He is gorgeous Well done you xx

Just enjoy the after glow. It is fine to make comparisons. All second time mums compare.

Ronja said...

Don't be scared of nursing a big baby. My daughter was born with 9.8 pounds and had to be supplemented at the hospital. But from day 4 on my midwife assured me that we could try exclusive breastfeeding for a day or two and she has not had a bottle ever since until we weaned at 13 months. I am just telling you that because you said how much you want to breastfeed. If you do want to supplement that will be totally fine of course, just don't let the doctors and their Big Baby talk make you if not.

Wishing you all the best for the coming days. Baby Mo is perfect, enjoy him and I hope you all three will make it through the storm.

Sonia said...

No wonder you felt uncomfortable throughout your pregnancy. I can understand, my first was 11lbs and second 10lbs. And they both nursed ALL the time too. Both of mine took formula supplements after feeding if they needed, and a couple of days and weeks later both nursed exclusively without the need for supplementation. Have you got a lactation consultant you can see? Can your doula recommend one if not? They can be really helpful

And, again, Mo looks so lovely. He looks so like his big brother..

Congratulations!

Erin Harrison French said...

This is absolutely amazing news! I am so happy for you and Ted and your families. What precious boys. My husband and I went to H.S. with Ted and I believe he bought your engagement ring from my husband, too. I've been praying for you and thinking of you both so much over this past year - you are incredible and deserve every joy this baby brings. He's beautiful! Looks just like his big brother! Amazing. I hope you feel better very soon. Our daughter was 9 lbs 8 oz and she nursed like crazy, too. Supplementing is a wonderful idea. Love to you all.

Taryn said...

If anyone deserved a 'mercy induction' it is you! Thanks for sharing a bit of your birth story! I'm glad the people helping you through Mo's birth were gentle and kind. May they continue to be so!

Isn't it amazing how bad it can hurt to nurse...even when you've done it before? People warned me about this, but for some reason I was still floored by how much it hurt with each of my three kids. Hang in there...and I hope the PUPPS hits the road soon!

You sure do have two beautiful baby boys!

Rose said...

I love those boys too! How gorgeous to see both of their beautiful faces together. I had two huge babies also, and it is hard core. Way to go Abby on pushing him out. Sending love from here and good wishes for a faster recovery than you are expecting. Thinking of you and Ted and Maxie and Mo.

Lesley said...

He's just gorgeous, both your boys. Way to go on the delivery! Of course you're sore...would be more surprised if you weren't. Take care of you and baby Mo. Mazel Tov.

Lesley

Smathersfamily said...

That is a big boy! You have the most adorable boys I've ever seen! (It's completely fair for me to say that since I have all girls) I'm so happy that he's finaly able to be in your arms.

Kim said...

Abby, no words to describe how happy I am for you and Ted. I love seeing those photos together, brothers forever.

Heather said...

Beautiful!!! Abby, you must be exhausted! Leah Miller (pre/post natal masseuse) works wonders for back pain due to nursing and postpartum. She comes to the house, and she was more help than any pain killers. Well, almost. :) Here's her site: http://www.yogabodyworker.com/

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