Still pregnant

I have plans with my friend Marla tomorrow morning so today is the day for Ted and I to get out.  I asked him this morning what he wanted to do today.  His response, "Let's go have an adventure so that you can blog about it".  I think he is making fun of me a little bit.  Truth is, we really HOPED that our activity this weekend would be having a baby.  We are so eager for Baby M to get here.  It has been a really long pregnancy.  As long as most peoples, I know, but somehow it has felt SO MUCH longer than my pregnancy with Max.  Perhaps because with Max, we were newlyweds, enjoying our new home, and traveling a lot: I went to Costa Rica with my cousin Sharon in my fourth month, Ted and I went to Greece on our belated honeymoon in the fifth month, and we went to Mexico City to visit Sharon and her family in the sixth.  We had lots of fun weekend adventures too.  Generally, we were two super happy people looking forward to welcoming a new addition.  Now, it feels like our lives depend on this little guy.  We want him here so badly.  We want to be parents again YESTERDAY!  We are running out of field trip distractions.  We want to be kept busy with taking care of our new baby. Also, Teddy likes today's date for Baby M's arrival: 7-7-12.  If Baby M doesn't come today, Ted says I have to wait for 7-12-12. (He is teasing of course) but I don't want to wait another 5 days!  Plus, I have an important reading with a medium I have a good feeling about that day.  (Between Ted's numbers and my mediums - can you tell we are searching for our little boy and for answers?  Go ahead and judge - but try and remember that you have not walked in our shoes).  I will say this - Courtney (friend and doula) is in France and our geneticist is also on vacation (though, as far as the birth is concerned, Courtney's presence is more important to me than the geneticists.  He didn't promise us foot massages - she did.  Also, we have a back up geneticist, we don't have a backup Courtney).  So, at least if Baby M doesn't come this weekend, our "team" should be back in place when he does.  But, I am getting more uncomfortable physically every day.  Now I am all itchy all over my stomach - because that's what happens when your stomach keeps growing larger at a rapid pace I guess.  I have so much sadness leading up to Maxie's Yahrzeit (or "angel day" for the non-Jews).  I've been crying by myself much more lately....late into the night.  That familiar feeling of hopelessness attacks me with full force throughout my days.  My OB has a pretty good sense of humor (if dirty jokes offend you, please cover your eyes here).  He told me at my last appointment that if I really wanted the baby to come quickly, I should walk home from the hospital and have sex with as many people as I could on the way home (exercise and sex are both thought to help with the onset of labor).  "I don't think that is your style though...", he added with a dorky grin.  All of my friends who see Dr. D will understand why that joke is not at all offensive coming from him.  He couldn't be more inoffensive really.  He is really quite wonderful.  I am thinking however that a long walk and a romantic evening at home might be the field trip for the day?  Too bad I can't walk for longer than about ten minutes without needing to use the bathroom.  SEXY!  Here's the point: we cannot wait for you to get here, Baby M!  We are missing you, Maxie, with every breath we take.  We are caught between loss and rebirth and we are anxious for the next chapter to begin....never, ever forgetting our first love.  Not ever.  I think we both agree though that there would be something sort of comforting about M being here before the 19th.  It's going to be such a hard day, it would be nice to already be holding our little bundle in our arms.