A common misconception

Friday, November 30, 2012

A common misconception is that crying is bad - or that if I cry when I am with you, that you caused me to cry, that you caused me pain.  Crying is often cathartic and can be very healing.  When you allow another person to cry, you are allowing them to be vulnerable, to express their joy and sorrow.  A common misconception is that to help someone feel better. you should make them laugh.  The truth is that sometimes laughter can feel worse than crying - sometimes not.  Sometimes feeling understood far outweighs feeling funny.  A common misunderstanding is that laughter must mean an absence of pain and that it is therefore compassionate to make someone laugh.  Sometimes the most compassionate thing to do is to sit with another person while they cry....or to cry with them if you, too, feel pain or sorrow (for them, for you...)  A common misinterpretation is that what you see as causing me to cry is what I see as giving me the opportunity to cry.  (ie - when you think, "Don't mention his name, she might cry!")  A common misconception is that you think you should avoid talking about my heartache because it might make me sad when the reality is that I am sad already.  You haven't caused a thing.

Thank you for allowing me to cry.  Thank you for sometimes crying with me.

1 comment:

Seeing Each Day said...

One of my pet hates is when someone's upset that people around them try to make them laugh or lighten the mood - the person/people lets whoever is upset , cry and they listen to them and are sympathetic to them, but it's just at that end bit where they kind if seem to want to tidy it up or finish things on a bright note. I've never understood it. The other day I was in a situation where I was quire teary and I was pleased no-one saw me because it really was the best thing at that time to let my emotions out and as you said it was cathartic, and I felt more on top of the situation I was in afterwards, but I was the one who controlled that and was able to see I felt 'lighter', not someone else determining when to switch or change my mood.

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