My mom's neighbor died Saturday night.  She was only 51.  She left behind two children and an adoring husband.  I think they'd been together since they were only 15 years old.  Not that it matters but they were a BEAUTIFUL couple - he is dashingly handsome and she was strikingly gorgeous - and they always looked so young and happy.  The husband has been growing a beard, like Teddy, for a while now.  He looks much older....and so so sad.  Their son is probably 30 years old, with a baby who was born around the time that Max was; and their daughter is about 20.  I have watched their daughter grow up.  She has always been sweet and outgoing and adorable and very, very close to her parents.  My heart is broken for all of them.  It makes no sense.

There is absolutely nothing that can be said or done to make life better for them.  Nothing.  How could anything we say or do fill the hole in someone's heart that was left by someone who they loved with everything that they are.  There are no jokes that can be made that will lighten the mood. No topics that will "take their minds" off of her.  It's insane to think otherwise (though I know people will try - because that is what they do).  Their lives are changed forever.  There is no way around it.  That is what death means.  All we can do is try to maybe make life easier - send some food, offer to run some errands.

Honestly, those things helped us so much in our earliest days.  People still bring food once in a while.  Sometimes they still text and email to say that they are thinking about us and it feels nice to know that people still care - that they know our lives are still broken - so are our hearts. Time doesn't really heal all wounds, it only cushions the blow somewhat.  "They say" that losing someone close is like losing a limb.  It never grows back, you just eventually learn to live without it.  That sounds pretty accurate to me.

I'm so sorry for this family.  So sorry for the sweet little girl, who is now a young woman, that has lost her mother.  So sorry for the father who loved his wife so much.  So sorry for the grandson who won't really remember his beautiful and sweet grandmother.  I don't know....life is really painful.  I'm not sure why it has to be this way.

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