Daily Thoughts

Sunday, May 27, 2012

The sadness never goes away.

The missing never ceases.

The longing for my baby.

The wish that I could be who I once was.

I will never be the same.

You will never understand me.

I may never "get better".

I am doing the best I can.

I want Max back.

I want to hold him and kiss him and smell his baby deliciousness.

I want to make him smile.

I want to watch him crawl and then walk and then run.

I want my life back.

So sad that it is gone forever.

I'm so very, very sad.

3 comments:

Anna said...

Dear Abby, I am so sorry that Maxie isn't in your arms where he should be. I am so sorry you have to travel this very sad and painful journey. I am thinking of you, Ted, Maxie and Baby M. Sending huge hugs and much love.

John Phillips said...

Abby if case you have not seem this speech from Joe Biden from other day to the Goldstar families (families of fallen soldiers).. I think he is speaking to you too..

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26315908/vp/47572971#47572971

Kathleen said...

I am reading your words and hearing your pain. My grandmother never "got over" the loss of her first son, and she had three younger children. His birthday, day of passing, things about him, things he didn't get to do...were very significant throughout her life. I don't know about after here on earth... She did have lots of times of smiling, loving, laughter...she showered me with love and positive memories. But, she lost her first son...and she did continue on, connecting with the present as best as she could - some days harder than others. I wish she was here to speak with you...she'd probably want to look at pictures with you, listen to your stories and share with you some of hers. Sending comfort...

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