Getting out with Mo

I've been thinking of getting out with Mo.  I would really like to take a mommy and me yoga class with him but I am worried.  What happens if other moms want to talk to us?  What if they ask me how many children I have?  I am their worst nightmare (I am mine too).  Eventually though, I will have to meet other moms.  I will have to tell them about Max - my beautiful baby.  Is this the week?  No time like the present?  I am thinking of giving it a try.


disqus_EQltFTaVWv said...

Good on you. It'll be good for you to get out but I I completely understand that you're worried about meeting other people. I was always really sociable but now I like to stick with the people that knew me before.
When new folks ask me if Marley's my first I tell them she my third but offer no more. A few times, when I know I won't see them again , I'll tell them I have a girl and a boy but I don't say that he's gone. It's actually quite nice to fantasise about that parallel life I would be living.
Let us know how it goes.xx

Rebecca Patrick-Howard said...

Yesterday, I ran into a waitress that used to serve Toby and me several times a week at a local restaurant. She didn't know he had died and cheerfully asked me how he was. It was awkward when I told him he had died but then she shared a memory she had of him, we both smiled, and then I asked her if the desserts were homemade. I didn't cry, didn't get upset, and even felt a little happy that someone had asked about him and remembered him. It does get better.

SadMama said...

I understand completely. I get into a small panic when I think someone is going to ask me anything about my children. I keep to myself much more than I used to and avoid conversations with strangers. I've also been avoiding people like my dentist, because I'm afraid the office staff will ask me about Graham and then I know I'll fall apart.

I suppose some day I'll be able to act more normal, but at this point I'm not even capable of pretending.

Susan said...

I agree with Fiona - I wish I had done that in the first place! I did the opposite and would "own up" to anyone I casually met that my older daughter had died. I thought if I did it often enough it would become easier. IInstead, I'd find myself dealing with their distress or their stupid comments. I actually think new first time parents are the worse - they really can't/won't handle it well. think it is difficult with one older dead child - if you say, Mo is my second, you will get older questions like, how old is your other son, and does he like being a big brother. I have been known to say - yes, Catherine is six or three - depending on how I feel that day, and also to say that she likes being a big sister - I guess she would prefer it over being dead anyway.

I will tell people the truth if I get to know them well enough - or if I get the feeling that they will handle it ok - I don't try and be consistent - it is too much of a burden, and no one cares anyway. I asked another (obviously to me) pg mum when her baby was due the other day, and she denied she was pg - now a few weeks later she is openly talking about her huge bump. I guess she had her reasons - we aren't the only people out there bending the truth xx