Missing Maxie

Thursday, December 13, 2012

One of the recurring nightmares that I've been having lately is that somehow Mo has been misplaced.  I've left him somewhere in his carrier and I am not sure where.  All I know is that I am completely frantic.  And, generally I can't get any words out.  I can't scream or yell or even articulate to anyone around me that I need help.  I have this dream at least once a week...usually several times.  And it doesn't take a genius to figure it out.  He is missing....like Max is missing.

Alls not well.  My baby is missing.  He is missing from every photo shoot.  He is missing from every event and activity.  He is missing from every single card I send out that says, "Love, Teddy, Abby and Mo".  Sometimes I even think to write his name but then I stop and realize that people will just think I am being morbid, or indulgent, or dramatic.  Nobody wants to receive a card from a family that lists their missing member.

You see, not only am I missing Maxie in the sense that I long for him, I ache for him, I feel empty without him.  I am missing him because he is missing.  Our lives, our home, our hearts are missing one very special person.  We are missing Maxie.  Every minute of every day.


6 comments:

Tamar said...

I don't think it would be weird at all to write Maxie's name on a card. He is a member of your family, will always be, and the people that love you love and miss him as well. xoxo

SadMama said...

I can't bear to send out cards, take photos of the family or do anything else that serves as a reminder that my son is no longer here. If I were to send a card, I would sign it "from the ----- family" and not write individual names.

Tiffany Norquest said...

If my friend were to send me a card with her son's name on it, I would cherish it.

Rachael said...

Whether in he's with you and the rest of us physically or spiritually, there is no doubt that Maxie's presence is totally felt!!! What an honor to his life and your love to remember him whenever, however.

Marla said...

I am in complete agreement with Tamar.

Rose said...

I totally wanted to write Maxie's name on your holiday card yesterday and then I worried that it was not right and I made some general family intro instead. I should have just done it. Your holiday greeting is for all of you. This post really resonated with me, Abby. Sending lots of love to Abby, Teddy, Maxie and Mo.

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