The cost of death

Monday, January 14, 2013

Last night Ted and I were relaxing in front of the television when I got a text from my friend Lindsay.  She was texting to tell me that one of her friends had just lost a three month old.  The friend can't afford the funeral and Lindsay wanted to know if I knew of any resources to help pay for the costs of children's funerals. It felt like a hammer just cracked my heart.  I felt sick and devastated for this mother.  After she finds a way to pay for the funeral, then the REAL hell begins - the reality sinks in, the dismissive comments begin, she starts her new life without the child that she loves so deeply.  Losing a child is sheer hell....and on top of all of that burden, she has to figure out how to pay for the funeral.

I am not sure if I mentioned how lucky we were in this respect.  While the hospital bills kept rolling in, we didn't have to worry about the funeral cost...it was covered by the cemetery.  Mt. Sinai has a fund for the funerals of children.  They don't even ask if you can pay, they just cover it.  What a gift that is for parents when their lives are literally falling apart.  An amazing gift.  There were 400 people at Maxie's funeral and there was seating for everyone with chairs set up outside the chapel for the overflow.  They paid for the service, the tent by the gravesite, the casket and the burial and everything.  Planning my child's funeral is something that I wish I could put out of my head forever.  It was literally one of the most sickening experiences of my life.  I can only imagine how much worse it would have been if I was stressing about how to pay for it.

My friend Lindsay is working on fundraising for the funeral.  If you would like to make a donation, of whatever amount, please email me at teddyabby at gmail dot com, and I will let you know how that can be done as soon as I know more.  The emotional and financial devastation of losing a child is just overwhelming.  Let's give this family one less thing to worry about....because, honestly, the funeral is the last thing they should have to worry about I think.

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