I went to Whole Foods yesterday in the middle of the afternoon to get a whole bunch of stuff for the seder tonight. The place was crawling with babies. I mean, I literally counted near 10 babies under 2 years old. A year ago, it would have been my worst nightmare. Yesterday, it was actually fun. Mo loves checking out the other babies. At one point, we found another baby about the same size (even though she was 18 months) who was at the store with her grandparents and she and Mo were holding hands across the shopping carts. It was so cute, we couldn't bear to split them up, and we actually held up traffic by the dairy isle. I would have HATED me last year!
The truth is, every time I see babies around this age, I wonder if they are going to die. Actually, anytime I see babies of any age....every time I see a pregnant person too. I can't help it. I don't intentionally think this - my mind just goes there. My experience is that babies die. But instead of babies being a complete horror to me, now I see them as Mo's potential playmates. I still have trouble with the Pavillions in my own neighborhood, but at least I can go to the market and face my absolute worst fears - babies and happy, proud, secure parents and grandparents. Some things really are getting easier.
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