New Job

Here is some more news.  I wanted to wait until it was announced inside my organization before I announced it here.  I have a new job.  Going back to work was hard...it never really happened.  I still communicated with many of our donors and I went to couple of meetings but it was terrible.  Going to my office was pretty terrible also.  It's nobody's fault really.  I am sure every parent who has been through what I have been through has also had to go back to work and I am sure it has been terrible for most of them in one way or another.  Some people were really wonderful.  Most didn't know what to say.  Some people were outright offensive.  It is what it is.  As the local Director for a National non-profit my job consists of lunches, coffees, cocktail parties, meetings and events.  Kind of tough for someone who can't get out of bed some mornings and can't get off the couch most days.  I figured I would probably just get fired and while on the one hand, it was causing me a tremendous amount of stress, on the other hand, it was nothing compared to the loss I had suffered when Max passed.  Nothing mattered anymore.  But, I started to think that maybe there was another way for me to help my organization and I started coming up with a list of things I could do.  When I finally spoke to my boss a few weeks ago, he told me he had been coming up with a list of his own.  Our lists were very similar and we put them together and within a week finalized a new job description for me.  I am now the Director of Grants Management and Major Donor Research for JNF.  This has been a tremendous weight off our shoulders.  By the way, I need to mention that my wonderful husband, who would have been burdened with being the sole provider, continuously told me that I didn't need to worry.  We would make it work.  That money is not what is important.  He supported me in my uselessness and I love him forever for that and for everything else that makes him so wonderful.  My new job can (and will) be done from home and I am actually excited about it.  I want to do a good job in part because I am so grateful to have been given this break.  Lord, I needed a break already.  Obviously, I MUST thank Russell Robinson, my boss, who said he would walk beside me and actually has.  When he could have easily just written me off, he decided to find a place for the new, broken me, and make me feel like there is a place, where at least for a few hours a day, I can be more whole.  There have been others who have said that they would be with me and have disappeared, but he hasn't and I am so grateful.  My whole family is grateful.  Thank you so much Russell and I hope to show you that you made a good decision.