Photos of Maxie

Sunday, January 29, 2012

People often write me and tell me that they want me to post more pictures of Maxie.  It is almost like they think that maybe I am withholding something.... but I know it is really because the posts about Maxie are more upbeat.  Less depressing.  Plus, I like to think it is because they have also fallen in love with his cute little face.  I wish I had albums full of Maxie photos.  I wish I had ENDLESS photos of my baby.  Much more than that, I wish he was still here for me to continue taking photos of (and to kiss his cheeks, and cook for him, and change him, and bathe him, and dance with him...you know the drill)...I'd post a picture every day.  Sadly, not only do I not have Maxie anymore, I also don't have endless photos of him.  I have a lot...but not enough...NEVER enough.  I wasn't a stay at home mom.  I was lucky that his daycare took photos of him a few times a week and emailed them to me.  We didn't take nearly enough videos of him (for this, I could just die..because I have to imagine him using my memory always and sometimes I can't trust my memory).  If I posted a photo of Max every day, it wouldn't last for more than a few months.  I know it would be better if I had a new story and photo of Max to share every day....but he was only here for 9 and a half months and he didn't get to make nearly as many memories or take nearly as many photos as he should have during his time on earth.

2 comments:

Daphna said...

I adore every picture of Maxie! Each time I see his face oh.... I love him!
I could endlessly look at him and his gorgeous blue eyes, his wide smile, ...
It is unfaire you have to live this life without him.
Thank you for sharing with us those sweet memories of him.
Thank you for letting us in such private and warm moments of recollection of
Pure motherly love.
Thinking of the both of you....
Daphna

Tallie Fishburne said...

I want more memories and pictures of Maxie too. But my best memory of him in person is that day at Amy R's splashing in the baby pool. He was happy, laughing, smiling ... and we were slathering sunblock on him over and over and laughing at how cute he was. I wish Max could make more memories, for himself and for the rest of us. That golden day of vivacious, happy Max is so strong and alive in my memory and it always will be ... and as much as I love that memory, it is so unfair that it is the only one I'll have of being with Maxie. I am so sorry that he isn't with you where he belongs. Sending you and Ted a great big hug (and I send one to Max every day). XOX -- Tallie

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