Why I think I have "outgrown" Facebook

I think I have outgrown Facebook.  And yet, I am still there.  I still feel like it is an important tool to share information about the work we are doing in Maxie's memory.  I feel like it is a way that people can know what happened to our little boy without me having to "reach out" and tell people.  If people read about Maxie on Facebook, perhaps I don't have to have a meaningless conversation about "What's new?" when I bump into them somewhere (because sometimes I actually DO leave my house....it is rare, but it happens).  Once in a while when I am feeling numb-ish, which I sort of did on Sunday, I will look at the Newsfeed.  Why do I do it when I know it is complete pain?  People who I know are only kidding often make jokes about their kids in their updates.....how their kid is so messy they wish they could trade her in, their kid is so fat they wonder if they should stop feeding him, how they would trade their kid for more Costco snacks, how they would rather be anywhere than with their kid, how they can't WAIT to get away from their kids and husband.  Those posts shake me to my core....they make me want to shake someone and scream.  I don't know what is more painful actually - those posts or the ones where the parents ooo and gooo all over their happy families and their beautiful children.  Those posts make me JEALOUS!  Why does this person have what I don't?  Why do they deserve happiness and I deserve unbelievable amounts of unrelenting pain?  Why does their child deserve to live and mine had to die?  The women who blissfully post pictures of their pregnant tummies and newborns (I was once one of those women too so I do actually get it).  The idea that they shouldn't be taking it for granted probably doesn't even cross their minds.  People who complain about the weather, people who complain about it being Sunday, people who complain about traffic, people who complain about tv personalities.....they can all SUCK IT as far as I am concerned!!!!  I shouldn't even look.  Why do I look?  Perhaps you should de-friend me.  I am 100% not the same person I was when you friended me.  For the first time in my Facebook history, I would rather see the picture of what someone ate for dinner and what is happening for them in Farmville.  I need to stay away from the newsfeed.  It is no good for my mental health.