Sweet boy. I miss your face. I love your happy disposition and your easy going air. You brought a calm into my life that I fear might be gone. You brought a love into my life that I have never felt before. Sweet little boy. I long to kiss and hug you. I ache to curl up on the couch and cuddle with you. Your soft cheeks against my cheeks. I would give anything to love you again, my love. I want to cover your face with kisses. My heart is always breaking. I am so lonesome. Sweet boy, I used to feel your spirit with me and now I don't as much. I hate being without you, but I am happy to see you in my dreams from time to time. There is no doubt, sweet baby boy, that I will love you to eternity. You brought out the very best in me and when you left, only the worst in me remains. I am sorry sweet baby that I wasn't there for you that day or so many that came before. I feel sick about it every day. I am so sorry my sweet baby boy. I love you to the moon and beyond, my monkey.
3 comments
Oh Ab, look at that perfect and sweet little pumpkin of a boy that you created. His wise eyes, his half smile, his delicious cheeks and those little baby chub lines on his arms are all so beautiful! I ache for him to be here with you and his daddy. I ache for him not being in my life and most of all of course for him not being in your arms. The world is missing out on such a bright light and it is so awful and unfair and heartbreaking.
Abby, I am so, so sorry. He is beautiful, and even though you are feeling so much pain and regret, I believe in my heart that you were truly there for him every day of his life - every minute of his life - loving him, and he knew it. You may feel like you weren't there for him but you were, 100%, and he felt it.
What a precious, loving blog entry and picture of your sweet boy...cute cheeks, eyes and nose; the green grass, bright sun, puffy cloud and flying bird on the blanket; giraffe, lion and monkey on his shirt...Big Blue WON on Sunday! Sending heartfelt hugs...
Wishing sweet dreams,
Kathleen
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