Immune

When I was pregnant with Mo, I was scared out of my mind.  I was literally waiting for tragedy to strike the whole nine months.  Having a miscarriage the month before getting pregnant with him didn't help at all.  People would tell me, "Lightening doesn't strike twice".  It was meant to calm me down and I know that everyone believed it to be true but, honestly, it sounded so incredibly naive to me.  The same people who said that probably also assume that they will never be struck by lightening.  They had no understanding of the fact that I was once like them... I, too, thought myself invincible before losing Max.  I also assumed bad things happened to "other people".

Another blogging mother wrote a post about this a few days ago which pretty much summed up all of these thoughts I have been having all along.  Tragedy is not like a vaccination against further tragedy.  There is no law of the universe that says that once something bad happens to you that nothing bad will ever happen again.  And, once tragedy strikes, you almost wonder how you even made it as far as you did without something terrible ever happening before.  This world is chaos.  Things don't always make sense.  Bad things DON'T only happen to other people.  To think that we are now immune just seems incredibly silly to me.