Insidious

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Last week, our nanny was cleaning off Jakey's face when she noticed something in his mouth.  She called me into the room to show me.  His gum was really swollen in the front.  I can hardly imagine how we hadn't noticed it since the swelling was so bad.  "Maybe he ate something weird?", I said.  "Ya, or maybe he got stung by a bee?", she replied.

I took him in the next day, expecting nothing really.  There is always something with Jakey.  He plays kind of hard.  The veterinarian took one look in his mouth and called the bump a tumor.  "Tumors in the mouth can often be insidious", she said.  "But we can't jump to any conclusions yet, we need to do X-rays and biopsy first".

Insidious - I couldn't help but be reminded of the Ambulance driver telling us that Max's condition looked foreboding.  It meant that our baby was gone.  I knew it as soon as it came out of his mouth.

That was Friday.  The results came in yesterday.  Jakey has cancer.  The kind of tumor he has would best be treated if it were removed, but because of the location of his tumor, it can't be removed without removing the whole front of his face.  They'll probably have to do radiation instead.  She says if things go well, we could have a year or two left with him.  Two would be nice.  A year is already more time than I got to spend with my son.

I love Jake.  I have had MANY pets in my life (I am a pet person - dogs, cats, rabbits, PETS!).  I have never had a bond with a pet the way I have with Jake.  I am obsessed with Jake.  We are tight.  He makes me happy.  He is always up for a snuggle and he is always in a good mood.  His cuddles were a necessary salve on our hearts during the year before Mo was born and both of our babies have loved him so much.   He loves his grandma, swimming, his sister Layla, his cousin dogs (too many to name), and sitting under Mo's chair waiting for dropping food.   I am convinced he helped me to win over Ted, who loves him wildly, and who came into my life only one month after Jakey did.

No, losing a dog won't be like losing my child...but sometimes I just feel like everyone I love is just slipping away.  Our plan now is to spend as much quality time with him as possible with whatever time we have left - go camping, take hikes, go to the dog beach.... continue with his acupuncture & try to make him as comfortable as possible.  Mostly, we want him to know how much he is loved.



6 comments:

Egreeno said...

Oh Jakey!!!! I'm so sorry to read this! I know this a totally different type of loss but it doesn't make it any easier. Jakey is a very special doggie soul. I'm so so so sorry!

Em said...

Our cat, Moses, died just less then 6 months after Eva died. We had had that cat since before our oldest son was born. It was hard but not that hard compared to the hardest road. I know you know. Moses' death was sudden though and we didn't have time to think about ramifications or do radiation, or anything really. I'm sorry this is a long note just to say I have an idea of how you feel. Lame. I know. Jake is super cute. Em

GrahamForeverInMyHeart said...

So sorry to hear the bad news about Jakey. Although you've been through THE WORST LOSS of all, still, Jakey is an important and well-loved member of your family. You should be comforted to know that he has had the best possible life being with you.

jessica said...

Oh Abs, I'm sorry. Jakey has been such a great companion to you guys and such a comfort to you as well. I'm sorry to read this. Eowyn is right, it's a totally different type of loss but it doesn't make it easier and I'm sorry that you have to come to terms with this on top of everything else. Sending lots of love to you all and Jakey too. xo

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry to hear about sweet Jakey. Losing a pet is not the same as losing a child but unconditional love is unconditional love; Jake gives it to you and without a doubt he knows you give it to him. None of this is easy and once again, I'm so sorry. Sending you all my positive thoughts.....

Jayden's Mommy said...

Sorry Abby and Jakey is just cute cute cute. I appreciate to read of how much the boys love him. We are finally getting a dog. My girls are in love with doggies. I show the picture of Jake to my oldest, Jayda and she said "mommy lets go he is sicky he needs a hug". Much love and many hugs. Kira

Blog Design by Nudge Media Design | Powered by Blogger